The homeless and abused children and teens of Otavalo
Nearly every night, for over a month, three homeless boys came to eat and sleep at my house. At times other abused or neglected children or teens would come stay there also. Then some people who care more about money than children or teenagers took over the house so they could put in a bar and other businesses which have nothing to with helping anyone but themselves. I feel most resentful towards someone named Atahualpa, who I used to consider one of my best friends in Otavalo. You can read more about what happened in my photo journal pages between August 17 and August 24.
Besides the three boys, I have been trying to help a nine year old girl, Anita, and her 10 year old brother, Daniel. They are two children who have came more than once to seek safe shelter at my house. Daniel and Anita keep running away from their mother who abuses them, but the police keep sending them back home to get beat again. I know she abuses them because I saw her Daniel in the face when she came to get him one night. See the page on Daniel and Anita for more info.
Here are some pictures and a little background on each person. And here is a little on the kind of help I need
Here is some more writing about them, and you can also read more details of the day to day story on my photo journal pages.
In this pic we see Giovanni. Giovanni is 10 years old. I call him the leader of the three boys. He has a very strong character. He does what he wants to do and doesn't do what he doesn't want to do. I admire him for this but a lot of adults would try to break him as they would break a horse so they can control it. His mother is dead and his father left the family or is in jail or who knows where. He has been living on the street for about two years.
On the right is William. William. he is 13. His mother brought him to Otavalo one day and told him to wait for her. She never came back. Before that she used to beat him. He is a very intelligent, hard working, helpful person. I would be happy to have him as a son. I don't understand why his mother didn't want him. He has been homeless for about one year.
They are fixing a window which Giovanni broke one night around four in the morning. They fixed the window and they paid me back for the cost of the glass. This is one of the little ways I am trying to teach them responsibility. I didn't give them a long lecture or threaten them or punish them. I just said I think it is fair that you guys fix the window and pay for the glass. And they did.
Here we see Abran along with Giovanni and William sleeping in my house on one of the bamboo beds I made. It is normal for more than one person to sleep in the same bed here, as it is in many poor countries, so they don't mind this. When they were sleeping on the ground they also slept very close together, partly to stay warm I am sure. Thought it is Ecuador, we are very high up and it gets quite cold at night. In fact not far from here are snow capped mountains. Here is a link to the pics from the day I went to visit one of these in Cayambe, a city about thirty minutes from here.
In this picture you see William, Sasha and Cecilia. Sasha is 15 and is from the USA. California. She is not homeless but she would be much better off if she did not live with her mother. I would say she has been abused, though I don't think she wants to say that herself. Not many children or teens want to think that their own parent has abused them.
Sasha has cut for years and has tried to kill herself many times. This is how bad living with her mother, Cherie, has been. Her mother thinks it is Sasha's "karma" and of course takes no responsibility and won't give Sasha her freedom. She used to hit her and now still threatens her, swears at her, punishes her, controls her etc. Sasha has been helping me with the homeless kids sometimes, but she can't always help because she isn't free to do what she wants as long as she lives with her mother. For example her mother will make Sasha go out of town with her for a week or longer regardless of how Sasha feels about it.
Then there is Ceclia. She is Giovaanni's sister. She is 14 and is pregnant. She has also stayed here a couple times. She knows she is always welcome here along with her brother and the others.
August 26, 2004
Recently I got basically kicked out of the place I was living and where the boys were staying. Or you could say I was robbed of it. You can read about it on my August 24, 2004 entry. So I am looking for a new house or a new place they can sleep. For a few nights they slept in empty buildings again, then they slept in the back yard of a friend's house. It is hard to tell, but all three of them are sleeping in this little area. Little Giovanni is squished up against the wall.
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journal notes
Feeding some homeless children and teens
July 6 - For the past two nights now I have made a big pot of rice and lentils for a few homeless children and teens. Last night there were two new boys. I was disturbed to see how much they were fighting. One hit another one in the mouth with the back of his hand. I am not sure what happened but they all seemed very much on the edge all the time and also smelled of glue. I didn't really know what to say to them last night. It was a bit awkward. I tried to talk to them a little about their lives and families but didn't make much progress. One said he came from Quito and he left home because his mother had been hitting him, which is not hard to believe here. I try to remind myself it will take time to get them to open up, if the do at all, and not to expect too much too quickly. I want to gradually develop a relationship with them and then invite them to do things during the day like build things, pick up trash etc. I am not sure yet what I will do but feeding them dinner seems to be a start. They seemed very appreciative, but I don't think it is good for people's self-esteem to just get something for nothing, so to speak, so I am afraid they won't want to keep coming for just free food, or that they will take it for granted and not appreciate it, so I want to get them to help me out with some projects in exchange for my helping them. I also want to get them to help me start making beds for themselves, finding a place we can make into shelter for them etc. But this will all take time and I want to go very slowly since I really have no idea what I am doing or what I will be getting myself into. Still I know that I need to do something. When I sit there and look into their eyes, and it is like we are searching each other for something to say or for some answers to questions we don't even know how to put into words, I get an impression which doesn't leave me. The boy that was hit in the mouth just looked at me after he was hit. And I only looked back. I didn't know what to say or do. Maybe with time I will feel more able to say or do something. But last night I just watched. I don't feel any sense of influence or authority with them yet. I want to be respected and have influence in this way, but for now I could only watch. One of the other boys laughed but it wasn't funny at all. He might have been laughing because he was a bit high on the fumes from the glue. Or it might have been his way of dealing with the tension. I really don't know. But last night I was a little more of their individual personalities.
I saw, for example, that Cecilia's little brother, Giovanni, had much more self-confidence than I saw the first night. Cecilia was not there, by the way. And I think this changed things a little. I think the males were a little less aggressive when she was there. But maybe it was the new boys who changed things. At any rate, last night was much different than the first night when Cecilia had been the most talkative. Anyhow, Giovanni, was the one who came up to me when I was walking home. I had been waiting at the hotel door where I saw them the night before, but after waiting till 9 I decided they weren't coming. But then Giovanni saw me and yelled for his friends to come over. So we sat in the Plaza de Ponchos and ate. As it happened the power went out just as we started serving. But I also happened to have my flashlight with me. So I used it to light up the pot. I let them serve themselves because I didn't feel comfortable serving them as if I were the one who controlled how much they got. Then later Giovanni asked if he could have more and when I said sure he did something interesting. He started to fill his cup, then he filled all the other boys cups first before finishing filling his. He was joking a lot, saying things I didn't understand. He was teasing the boy who had hit the other one. Then he teased him a bit too much and found himself being chased around. Then he got his hat tossed up in a tree and was tackled and held down. It was partly playful, but a bit too violent for my taste. With time, maybe, just maybe I can lead them away from this kind of thing. But I don't know what I will be able to do. I won't know what I will and won't be able to do unless I try I guess. So that is what I plan to do.
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I also wrote about this on July 5 on my main page - http://stevehein.com
This morning I went out early, around six, and while I was walking thru the Plaza of Ponchos I saw Giovanni sticking his head up from inside some pieces of cardboard. He saw me and looked surprised. I said good morning and kept walking because I felt a little awkward and didn't want to invade his privacy.
Then I walked over to the big empty house which they are going to make into a cultural center. I heard they are putting a library in it also. I heard people talking inside so I assume they had slept there, but they were adult voices, not the voices of children or teenagers.
Then I walked back past Giovanni and he saw me again. This time Abran was awake, too. I asked them if they wanted something to eat and they said yes.
On the way to my place I saw two women dressed up in nun's costumes. I decided to talk to them about Abran and the others. They told me they work in the home for the old people but it is only for old people not young people. They said there was no place for the young people to sleep. But they said there were some places called comedors, which I guess is like dining halls, where poor people of all ages could go. They pointed to the one next to the church, but they didn't take me all the way there since they were in a hurry to get to the morning mass in the church. They answered all of my questions but it seemed they were a little uncomfortable with them and they would rather not think about people like Abran. And they didn't offer me any encouragement or any type of support for what I am trying to do, not even emotional support. They just kept walking then hurried into the church, where I am sure they felt much safer since they just have to sit and pray. I am feeling a little cynical as you might have noticed. I am thinking that it is easier to run a home for old people because they are more obedient.
After I had made them some breakfast and we ate it in the plaza I asked if they wanted to wash up. They said yes so I told them to wait a few minutes while I heated up some water. I don't have a hot water tank so if I want hot water I have to heat it up on the gas stove top in a big pot. When I went back to meet them G was gone. I asked where he was and they said he left, he doesn't like washing. lol.
So the other two came with me and they went upstairs on the roof terrace and washed up then came down about a half hour later and said thank you.
While they were washing I was working on making a table out of bamboo and some pieces of wood from the old bread shelves. I asked them if they wanted to help so they said yes. I had them do a few little things then they watched me as I tried to screw some boards together. I kept breaking the screws (they are very cheap screws, one or two cents each) and a couple times I swore by saying something like hijo de puta, which means son of a bitch, or mierda, which means shit. I laughed and so did they. When I had come to a stopping point I started to clean things up and put away my tools and they helped me. They were very humble and quiet and whispering a little between themselves, for example when William was looking at my drill bit set and saw how small some of them were and he showed Abran.
At first William didn't want to use the cordless drill, but Abran did and I think William did later too. I noticed there were more nails to pull out and I asked if they wanted to pull some more out but they didn't show interest in that and I didn't put any pressure on them. I just mentioned it once and kept pointing away the tools. I said something about seeing them tomorrow and Abran told me he would not be around because there was some kind of thing in Ibarra, Something like a parade or something. He was telling me like he thought it might be interesting for me to see. He also said he was going to see his mother, but then William corrected him and said it is your sister. Maybe William thought it wouldn't be good to let me know he had a mother in Ibarra because I might think Abran should go live there or something. I really don't know. But anyhow I felt satisfied with the progress I am seeing. I was a little afraid to let them know where I live and invite them in. Afraid of what my neighbors would say etc. but I keep thinking of how the book said the guy in Australia took "massive" risks. My eyes are getting a little watery now, and they did after the boys left today when I thought about what had happened over the course of the morning. It is a small, but big step.
August 11 - notes in part one of my diary